By Vin Bittencourt | MBA Bites S1 Episode 5
Research points effective communication as the number one factor accounting for promotions in the workplace in the United States. The average person speaks about 16,000 words daily, enough to fill up to 300 pages of transcript every week. Yet, the reality is most people fail to grasp the mechanics of great communication, which often leads to confusion, frustration and failed relationships that stall many careers and prevent professionals from unleashing their full potential.
To understand the main role of communication in business and why is so hard to master communication skills that inform, connect and persuade, I’ve curated a collection of principles to unveil the mystery and share simple tools that can be easily deployed for more effective communication and relationship building at work. But before we get into tools and strategies, let’s check some important figures about workplace communication.
Professional communication is comprised of the following four elements:
Listening 48%
Speaking 27%
Reading 16%
Writing 9%
As a percentage, the total amount of information our brains absorb comes from:
Words 7%
Sounds 38%
Visuals 55%
At first glance, we already see why most people fail at communication. If 48% of the time is made of listening, then worrying about your next remark instead of paying attention is a massive shot in the foot that almost everyone, even subconsciously, ends up triggering non-stop, after all, wo doesn’t do that almost every day?
The same goes for information capturing. If 55% of the information we absorb comes from visual cues, including gestures, facial expressions and body language, then taking notes on meetings is a huge disservice to your natural senses. If anything, it prevents you from reading the room, spotting on emotions and all the things that are not being said, but in fact are being visibly communicated. While silence and body language always have a lot to say, most people barely pay attention.
Before your scratch your head some more, realizing the ways in which you can improve, consider the following five time-tested lessons about communication:
Lesson One: Whether you’re doing in it consciously or not, communication happens every time, whenever you’re in an open environment where others can see you, observe your actions and reactions, you’re communicating.
Lesson Two: Communication is an act of creation. Although sometimes not immediate or visible, communication always brings an intended or unintended consequence, a result. By the way, inertia is also a result.
Lesson Three: If there’s one factor for which we do have full control in our communication actions is how we communicate with the world. It’s our complete choice to adopt a positive posture of empathy, inclusion, respect, kindness, firmness, directness and clarity. By the same token, we can also adopt the opposite stance to those values. Either way, there will be always consequences down the road.
Lesson Four: If you want to improve your relationship with somebody, the first thing you do is listen more. Listening is not only the quickest way to bond, it’s the quickest way to learn more about any situation or person. When you listen, there’s the immediate perception on the other side that you care, that you respect them. And if there’s one fundamental condition to connect with anyone, that is respect.
Lesson Five: Sometimes we can’t change life, but we can always change the way we communicate about life. The narratives, the messages, the mental models we carry about the world and tell ourselves have power. Beware of your own beliefs and the things you think and say to yourself, mostly out loud but also intimately. If not constructive, they might fire back at you when you least expect it.
Why Great Team Communication is Rare?
At this point, you’re probably asking yourself, “but if communication is so important, why is it that communication among teams, organizations of all shapes and sizes, is so messy, confusing and frustrating? Why is it so hard to find effective communication at work?” There are several reasons:
People are afraid to say what they really mean
People are disconnected from their real feelings, they don’t know why they feel what they feel, as feelings are sometimes hard to put into words, to articulate
People sometimes hear only WHAT they want to hear, they end up filtering things as a coping or self-protection mechanism
People are so busy thinking on what they’re going to say next that they forget to listen to what they’re hearing
How do you avoid these classic pitfalls of effective communication?
The answer is active listening. In order to become a great communicator, the kind of communicator that informs, connects and persuades, you have to practice active listening.
While we typically spend 70% to 80% of our day communicating, about 48% of that time is listening. However, listening is a complex task, one that's done at about four times the rate of speaking - more precisely 600 words per minute listening versus 200 words per minute speaking, on average.
Effective listening, therefore, is a lot harder than it seems, especially in our corporate environments of growing distractions and everyday noise – including boredom, stress and pressure. Nevertheless, active listening is one of the most important competencies in Emotional Intelligence, and one of your main tools for developing empathy and social skills. Here’s what active listeners, and in the process, effective communicators do that average people ignore.
They acknowledge the speaker
They increase the speaker's self-esteem, confidence
The body language of an active listener and great communicator says “you’re important” and “I’m not judging you”
Simultaneously, in the process of deploying active listening and operating out of empathy and respect, superior communicators:
Reduce stress and tension
Build better teamwork
Gain more trust
Obtain more and higher quality information in general
Most people are not trained to listen, and perhaps no other factor by itself prevents them from becoming great communicators. From an early age, we’re all conditioned to speak out, to jump into conclusions, to constantly analyze, measure and judge, to have formed opinions about everything. But research points empathy and active listening as critical factors for effective communication.
To make sure your communication actually helps you grow, not hinder you, here are some simple tactics and responses to adopt for better communication at work:
Maintain steady eye contact
Keep your posture alert, no slacking, not yawning, no rolling eyes
Encourage the speaker to say more
Paraphrase often, stop here and there to make sure you’re getting the message right
Be patient. Don’t interrupt, listen thoroughly before you contradict
Ask open ended questions that can expand on the conversation
Powerful affirming responses that can actually engage people to share more with you and feel at ease:
“I see”
“I understand”
“That’s a good point”
“I see where you’re coming from”
“Tell me more”
“That’s interesting”
“Then what happened?”
“Please continue”
“Help me understand better”
“Say more about that”
Now contrast with the approach of the worst listeners. Bad listeners:
Always interrupt
Don’t look at the other person
Jump into conclusions
Finish sentences
Change the subject in the middle
Write everything down like a laundry list
Act impatiently
Lack self-control and lose their temper
Like most people, you probably want to get to the next level of your career, increase your earning potential, maybe get a promotion, or find a better job. And deep down, you know effective communication is one of the keys to maximize your potential. So as a final checklist to make sure you’re on track for effective communication and active listening, try asking yourself:
“When people talk to me, do I listen to understand, or do I spend time preparing my next remark?”
“Before agreeing or disagreeing, do I check to make sure I understand what the other person or group is saying?”
“Do I try to summarize points of agreement or disagreement?”
“Do I ask questions that result in more information being share or do I ask “yes” or “no” types of questions?”
“When my remarks are harsh or sometimes can be perceived as edgy, do I respond in a way that shows sensitivity?”
Communication is more practicing than knowing As a self-awareness exercise, reflect upon these common barriers shown here for effective listening and think of situations where you failed to demonstrate any of the skills of effective listeners. As a takeaway, write down three actions you can take to become an effective listener, and apply them to your next year review, meeting or interpersonal work situation. As any transformative element of life, effective communication is more practice than knowing. As much as you can use these principles as a guideline, ultimately you must find your own voice and adapt to your own environment. So I really hope you can practice on these tactics for effective communication and use them to your advantage. Thanks so much for watching MBA Bites, our series about things you learn in business school and things you don’t.
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